It’s never too early to start teaching your children about the perils of the real world.
Last night, for example, Donald Trump Jr. thought that he could use Halloween to show his child that the bogeyman is real, and its name is socialism.
I’m going to take half of Chloe’s candy tonight & give it to some kid who sat at home. It’s never to early to teach her about socialism. pic.twitter.com/3ie9C0jv2G
— Donald Trump Jr. (@DonaldJTrumpJr) October 31, 2017
Trump Jr., President Donald Trump‘s oldest offspring, was saying socialism is inherently unfair, but he’s using a willfully malignant interpretation of the political theory. It’s not that Chloe’s candy would go to people who just sat home, but perhaps it would go to kids whose parents were too poor to afford costumes for their children, so they couldn’t go out and get candy.
Wouldn’t that be great and nice?
But anyway, Halloween isn’t even the capitalist ritual he’s making it out to be, because:
HALLOWEEN CANDY IS FREE CANDY THAT OTHER PEOPLE BOUGHT AND GAVE AWAY FOR FREE. don't @ me bc you don't know how halloween works.
— Patricia BATeman🦇 (@Trisha_Bateman) October 31, 2017
My man, "socialism" was her getting that free candy in the first place. You taking half for reasons she can't understand is capitalism https://t.co/w9x9zB0xLA
— Elite Bear Agents (@Bearpigman) October 31, 2017
You literally took her door-to-door demanding free handouts. https://t.co/DGwsw2a7MB
— G. Willow Wilson (@GWillowWilson) October 31, 2017
I feel like candy that was handed out by strangers is the definition of socialism. But what do I know. https://t.co/17iKs5HsPU
— Downtown Josh Brown (@ReformedBroker) November 1, 2017
This could also be a moment to teach her about just generally being nice and not hoarding wealth.
Hey, you jerk. Maybe teach her to share with less fortunate kids who didn't grow up wealthy real estate heirs simply by being born. https://t.co/THMiwhF1qR
— Elizabeth Spiers (@espiers) October 31, 2017
I dumped a truckload of candy into my kid's room while he was sleeping to teach him about being born into a wealthy family
— Hippo (@InternetHippo) November 1, 2017
A lot of people figured a young Trump Jr. maybe never got a similar explanation many years ago, so they let him know some things maybe he should have been told.
I'll promise a kid 20 pieces of candy for cleaning her room then only pay her 3. It's never *too early to teach her how Trumps do business. https://t.co/OOmx4qXIi6
— Anthony DeVito (@AnthonyDeVito) November 1, 2017
Fill her bucket with old candy left by her great-grandfather, then explain that she has more because she's smarter than all the other kids. https://t.co/0lbhHYyFe4
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) November 1, 2017
I'll take 1/2 my kids candy, store it in a Cyprus tax shelter, then declare bankruptcy to teach her about capitalism https://t.co/7OAOjFYjQx
— ryan cooper (@ryanlcooper) November 1, 2017
Others just didn’t know why the Trumps, who have repeatedly bashed the media for discussing the president’s youngest, Barron Trump, would use their own children as props in the fight against concepts like universal healthcare.
“Don’t bring the kids into it. kids are off-limits." https://t.co/aR48VBhHcZ
— Paul F. Tompkins (@PFTompkins) October 31, 2017
Either way, this, amazingly, isn’t the first time Trump Jr. has resorted to using candy to explain policy. Back in September 2016, he infamously used a bowl of Skittles to demand the U.S. stop accepting Syrian refugees.
The man loves his candy metaphors, and nobody can take that away from him.
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