With five 2-year-olds and a 6-year-old to boot, it’s safe to say that TLC’s “OutDaughtered” parents, Adam and Danielle Busby, have their hands FULL.
The couple made national headlines when Danielle delivered the first set of all-girl quintuplets in U.S. history, and America has been stalking their Instagram-perfect lives ever since.
But it turns out, their life isn’t all floral dresses, gardens and Go-gurt packs.
After Adam revealed in a recent episode that he’s “not happy” due to his struggles with postpartum depression as a father, fans got a window into the more human side of the Busby family and the tension in their marriage.
And Danielle echoed that level of humanity with her own struggles in a guest post she wrote for Sadie Robertson’s “Live Original” blog last week.
From attacks on her ability to deliver five babies to attacks on her marriage, she admits she’s seen her fair share of criticism. In an article titled “When I Can’t He Can,” the mother of six opens up about the challenges she’s faced with the never-ending list of “I cant’s” people have thrown her way:
“Over the last few years of my life, I have heard these phrases specifically directed at me:
- ‘Danielle, your body cannot handle the stress of a high-risk quintuplet pregnancy.’
- ‘Danielle, you cannot deliver five healthy babies.’
- ‘Danielle, you cannot breast feed/pump for five babies.’
- ‘Danielle, you cannot survive on one income.’
And the one that is thrown out daily is this, ‘Danielle, your marriage can not and will not survive’.
Danielle explains that as a “strong-willed” person, she’s often used these negatively charged comments to fuel her in the opposite direction.
“When someone tells me I can’t do something, it fuels me to go after that very thing,” she writes. “I love a good challenge, but what happens when God throws a BIG curve ball in YOUR life plan, and you are instantly faced with all the potential I cant’s?”
To answer this question, Danielle relies on the Word of God.
“Righteousness depends not on what we can do, but on what God has already done.”
Referencing 2 Corinthians, she calls out two verses that give her strength when the “I cant’s” become too much to bear.
“For we live by faith, not by sight.” 2 Corinthians 5:7
“So that your faith might not rest on human wisdom, but on God’s power.” 2 Corinthians 2:5
The TLC mom says you have to remember not only who you are, but whose you are.
“God chose me, in spite of me! Despite my failures, sins and flaws,” she shared. “It’s so humbling to know He saw me fit to become the Mother to these sweet girls. I was faced with a difficulty, scary and unknown life change, and I’ll tell you, my doubts were strong. Faith transforms the heart, and it will give you the ability to prosper when you are faced with all of life’s cants.”
Further Danielle makes a bold declaration of truth in saying that her critics were right about her. She CAN’T.
“To all the “Danielle you cant’s” I shared above, I have to say…everyone was right.”
But of course that admission of weakness comes with a biblical twist, for that is where God’s glory and power are perfected:
“I couldn’t, but I had faith that God would give my body the ability to have a healthy high-risk pregnancy. He enabled me to nourish all five girls. I had faith that God would protect these babies in my womb until we reached the Doctor’s delivery goal, and He did. I had faith that God would allow my body to produce enough breast milk for my five NICU babies, even when I was not able to produce any milk with my first child, and He did. I had faith that God would provide for us when we went from a family of three to eight overnight. I was faced with the decision to stop working, which inevitably meant raising our family on one income, and He provided. I had faith that God would protect my marriage, even with all these new challenges, and He has. I know I can’t do this new life of mine well on my own, but by trusting in God and relying on His strength, I can do this new crazy, wild, hard, stressful life well because He gives me the ability to do it.”
Danielle closes her post with a prayer to her God of the impossible to help us accept our humanness and embrace His infallible goodness.
“I pray You will begin a fresh work among us, to show us that even when our strength is gone and we feel like we can’t more forward, you always can.” she writes. “I pray we will strive to know you more, to ask the hard questions and to dig into your word for the answers. Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what’s to come.”
I pray we all soak up the heart of this mother’s humble wisdom today. When you feel you can’t take on the burdens of this life, hang on to these two simple nuggets of wisdom:
No, you can’t.
But yes, he CAN.
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